Co-Parenting with the EX has gotten increasingly difficult since he got remarried. He no longer comes in when he drops the kids off, so there’s no real way for us to even communicate small things. I think there is also increasing resentment toward me, especially after he took me back to court this year to try and get more visitation, since the proceedings didn’t exactly go in his favor. The part that’s hardest for me to process is that some of the things he’s doing – I can tell they aren’t his motivation. It’s not him.
We haven’t seen eye to eye for many years, but he typically isn’t this manipulative or divisive. Without going into too much detail (which would take too much time to post and no one wants to hear every little detail anyway), things have gone from bad to worse – with regards to the ability for us to work together. There is constant manipulation of time and dates, of even court orders…but it all is just too exhaustive to make a big deal of, so I’m not sweating the small stuff.
The biggest downfall though is how my kids feel. That part really gets to me. They see it and they understand why their dad does some of the things he does – and it’s hurting them.
I ended up putting #2 back into counseling for his anger issues. I feel so bad for the guy. He lashes out radically, then is as sweet as can be once he’s calmed down. He’s empathetic and apologetic, but not until after he’s torn himself apart. It is truly heart wrenching.
Roi has really helped smooth things out and helps me to remember to keep things in perspective. When EX does stuff to antagonize me, he constantly reminds me that it’s okay to get angry and vent, but I have to let it go. If I don’t, then EX wins. He (EX) steals that time and that joy from everything and everyone else in my life. Roi is totally right about this and I simply won’t let that keep happening. Regardless of anything else that goes on, I still have 3 healthy and happy kids that I love very dearly and a man that has stepped up and shown me what true love and family is all about.