It’s funny how when you say those two words together, love and money, people conjure up many different things. It can be ideas of combining lives and finances, to those that only associate love with how much money someone has. For me, it’s the former of the two.
Roi is an excellent communicator, which I truly cherish about him. He and I are on the same page with that in many ways. He’s also a planner like I am and likes to discuss things way ahead of time, so there aren’t any surprises when things do eventually come up.
A few weeks ago, during one of our many conversations, we approached the subject on our feelings of moving in with someone and also how finances are handled then. I have absolutely no experience on this front, being that I graduated college, then moved into my parents house for a few weeks before I was married, and have only lived with someone I was married to.
So after a great deal of thought, here is what I have come up with:
Love and life together are a commitment. I think you can have love without building a life together, which is what I had in my last relationship with VDO–a lot of love without the ability to build a life together or the level of commitment required to do so. You can’t have love and life together though unless there is a commitment. I genuinely feel like I’m heading down that path with Roi, that there is a great deal of love and a commitment and desire to build a life together.
So, here was my final conclusion. While I don’t think I want to live with someone before commitment, I do feel like engagement is enough of a commitment for me now. My other thought on this are my kids’ perceptions. Being that I still have young kids at home, I want to make sure I am a good role model for them on sex, love, and relationships. I don’t want to bring someone into my life or my kids’ lives, without them (my kids) understanding the depth of that relationship. I don’t think they will necessarily understand that, without seeing that outward commitment.
Financially, I think that money should stay apart until two become one, that is until marriage. I have friends that have kept their finances separate somehow after that, but it seems they are always fighting with their significant others about money anyway.
So there are my random thoughts for the day. All is fairly calm and well. :)